I SHOULD be, I COULD be...reading

Reading outside is an option year round! Although in these summer temps nearing 100 I find respite in the shade rather quickly. Years ago we won anti gravity chairs at the International and every year that we bought prizes for the event, we included them. They've come in handy with two balconies on which to read!  

During the Teaching Era of my life "free time" was rare and was really a misnomer. Teachers live in a constant state of "I should be, or could be, doing X" in regards to their job:

• I should be lesson planning to avoid the Sunday scaries. 
• I could be addressing that stack of papers that needs grading. 
• I should be sending home a parent email. 
• I could be calling parents for that "positive check in." 
• I should be doing a class to get credit for my next recert.
•  I could be investing time to learn whatever the latest buzz in teacher tech is. 
• I should be... 
• I could be...

My favourite podcasters wrote a book! The work at Crooked Media Company has helped me feel connected to my worldview, and politics, even though I'm so far away. 

I use to grade the week's EdPuzzles while on the stationary bike on Monday mornings at 4:15a. For the first time in my adult life I find myself with genuine free time. Not free time that is consumed with thoughts of what I should be, or could be, doing for my job, but rather genuine, unburdened, free to define, free time. 

Historical fiction about a young free woman of the ancient world being sold into slavery and her fight and will to not only survive, but thrive, in the horrific world of the Pompeiian brothels and beyond. I'm finishing book three now and having walked the ruins of Pompeii many times at this point, really changes how I immerse myself in Harper's books. 

To be honest, it has a few cons along with an enormous number advantages. Oddly, when you have ALL the time, you tend to get less done. Edward Young said in the 18th century that, "procrastination is the thief of time" and when you have all the time to procrastinate it is definitely true. You can get a lot done when your only "free time" is being a passenger princess on the way to curling after the twenty minutes at home after work! 

But like many life details since moving to southern Italy, I've had to make some mindset changes. 

My interest in the Second World War has only intensified being amongst history here in Europe. The story of Italy in the War is especially intriguing even more so after visiting my step great grandpa's grave at Gothic Line in Northern Italy. 

In the last year and a half I've made an effort to fill some free time with intentional reading. Reading for fun. Not reading for lesson prep. Not reading pedagogy theories. Not reading student work. And certainly not putting off reading for a lack of free time. 

Another read for Book Club and not one I ever would have picked up for myself. I used to LOATH the term data in staff meetings. None the less, a super interesting look at systemic issues that women face. Many I can relate to and many I luckily couldn't. Even with the onslaught of numbers and data it was a great multitasking listen.

For the first time in my adult life, I have rekindled a love of reading. As a kid I remember mom and dad reading Dinotopia to me and then I remember reading it to them as I learned how to read with fluency. I later found myself totally immersed in the world of Harry Potter and then my love of reading rapidly declined. Every summer, I'd maybe read a book after my 6a shift at the hotel, but it was usually something related to curriculum and not something for the sheer love of story. Reading felt like an obligation or another "I should be..." so I read begrudgingly but I had lost the love.

 

I spent the first ten pages of this book hating it! I didn't like the style and I really dislike celebrity worship culture. And then I loved it. His dry wit and personal stories had me laughing and quickly writing down his family recipes. A few stories were "aha moments" about Italian culture!

I have found it again.

Most of my days are filled with, lets face it, very non intellectual conversation. My "How are you? It is hot!" conversations, in Italian, are on repeat with the neighbours. It's hard to have intellectual conversations with the vocabulary of a small bambina! But within books, I've been able to stimulate intellect that I use to get by osmosis among some of the smartest cohort of educators a person could ask to work with. 

I've joined a group of ladies for a DoD affiliated book club. I gave this one about twenty pages, almost gave up, and then carried on. I never thought I would enjoy a book with such a religious theme but I thoroughly did! Based on the hypothetical idea that Jesus might have had a wife it was empowering and historical rather than overtly religious despite the main characters being Jesus and his wife. 

My first years of teaching I was anti audiobook, buying into the fake notion that it wasn't as good for the brain. Turns out that research shows that there is no difference to which parts of the brain are activated, cognitively and emotionally, when listening or reading a book. Today, I find myself in the midst of several audiobooks and at least one physical book. Then there's the depth of podcasts that I turn to weekly as well. I can pick and choose dependent on mood, emotional availability, and mental capacity for that day. For that moment. During my Teaching Era there wasn't enough mental bandwidth to happily carry on with one let along several.

Naples has an intense, and very unique, WWII story. The Allies landed on mainland Italy just over an hours drive from here in Salerno. The city was mercilessly shelled by the Allies, occupied by the Germans, and what feels like abandoned by the Italian people. 

In the past 18 months I've read a trilogy chronically the life of a Pompeiian woman, a data driven book on societal systemic disadvantages experienced by women, Naples and Italy specific history stories, Holocaust survival testimonies, a celebrity chef autobiography, political discourse, a religion heavy fictional tale, a social media influencer's self help style book, and even some comics with Belgian origins!!

I've also abandoned a few tales - at least put them off until later - because they weren't serving my intellectual needs of the moment. In the past I've felt a weird obligation to finish them anyway because I had already invested "free time."

Picking out just one book from the bookshop located on the memorial grounds of Auschwitz was really challenging. Helena only shared her story into her 90s and yet the chilling details was as vivid and disturbing as if it were yesterday. Rightfully so. This book is making its way to Brendy's Holocaust Literature class, even if she doesn't know it yet:) 

While I still work to redefine my life and personality here, I am grateful for the gift of unadulterated free time. I've found myself reading on the terrace overlooking the sea with some wine, on the train, up a volcano, snuggled in bed with the AC blasting, in late PM hours, or in those early AMs after Brian has gone to work. My brain appreciates this rediscovery of such a simple pleasure that only the gift of free time has afforded. When there's nothing I "should" be doing there is a lot of time left for what I "could be doing." 

Kacie's book deserves it's own blog. I took pages of notes! I follow Kacie on social media as she also moved from the US to Italy and she openly shares the challenges and wonders of her experience. There were so many times that her experiences were so relatable and times she put into words, and thus validated, many of the emotions that we go through regularly. Once I fully process the impact of this book I want to put into more words how I feel. Ultimately, her experiences remind me that I am strong and I am deserving of this incredible good thing that is happening in my life right now.